Sample Speech #2: Male Bovine Excrement

Opening – 1:00 Minute

This is a copy of the album Power, from the Temptations back in 1980. This was the last hit record for the group and the title track started like this:

My hands are clean
My heart is so pure
The world is sick
I am the cure
I don’t want no money, gold or gifts
Give me your minds and souls to lift
Put you faith and trust in me
I’ll move your mountains
Part your sea


All you poor, all you needy
All you’re doin’ is givin’ to the greedy
Get off your knees, believe in me
I’ll set you free
All I need’s a little more Power

Body – 3:00 Minutes

For some reason, whenever I hear any political candidate speak, that’s what I hear playing in the background. There are always two sides to the election coin – but its always the same old coin.

My hands are clean – my heart is so pure. The world is sick, I am the cure.

Power, in its simplest terms – is the ability to do whatever you want. Us giving someone a job to sacrifice all of their interests to do what’s best for us is in truth quite the opposite, but all too often POWER is what they really want.

The simple fact is that you will only give them power as a last resort. You will never give them power to save you until they convince you that you need to be saved.

You will never give them power to fix your economy, until they convince you that your economy is broken.

You will never give them power to protect you, unless they convince you that the danger is too much for you to handle.

And so you hear, Your country is a disaster, your streets are filled with crime, your economy is failed, you cannot succeed unless I have the power to make it happen.

There is one fatal problem with this reasoning. They can never convince you that we the people are a failure without, on some level, convincing you that you are a failure. That you cannot succeed without their help. That you cannot produce what you need. That you are a loser.

And that, my friend – is Male Bovine Excrement!!!

When this song first came out in 1980 students were actively taught that one of the biggest long term problems facing mankind was the population explosion.

The world couldn’t possibly feed 8 billion people because there was not enough soil on the face of the earth to do so. The resulting famines would have only the rich eating 3 meals a day. The wars over food, land, and water would dominate the landscape. The crime rate would explode as gangs and militias hoard resources.

And yet, as I stand here in 2024 I am told that one of the biggest long term problems facing industrialized countries is population shrinkage; the biggest health risk for the poor in the US is obesity; and the number of US servicemen who have died in a battle zone this year fighting over natural resources is exactly 0.

The fights in the streets for food are so bad that the homicide rate in Dallas is 22% lower than it was in 2023. Its 26% lower in Houston. It’s a whopping 82% lower in Columbus Ohio.

Your failed economy is so bad that the 70 thousand dollar GDP per person in the US is just a little better than then the 17 thousand dollar GDP per person in the second largest economy in the world in China.

Your failed system is so bad that everyone who can fly, sail, swim, run, walk, or crawl is risking life and limb to get to this room to sit next to you.

The Message – 0:30 Minute

For those who believe the narrative that your country, your system, your economy is doomed I say this to you.

You’ve been had. You been took; hoodwinked; run amuck; led astray

Because, ultimately, there is only one resource that really matters, and that is your ability to create a better way. And the simple truth is that that resource is unlimited.

You are not a drain on the world’s resources. You are the engine that finds new ones, finds new ways to recreate, reform, recycle, and renew

You are not a loser. You are God’s gift to 8 billion other people just waiting to see a better way. And so is every toastmasters member around the world.

The Close – 1:00 Minute

So for all of those voices that hope to convince us that our time on the world’s stage is over. That its never been this bad. That we the people won’t make it without a savior with the power to save us . . . I say this singly and finally – Male Bovine Excrement!!!